


Close

by 1_800_fiction



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, F/M, Pain, Sad, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28125798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_800_fiction/pseuds/1_800_fiction
Summary: Request: “Bucky!!!!!! For the fic based on the song close by Nick jonas please!”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 3





	Close

**Author's Note:**

> This hurt me to write this

_Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn_

I tried not to stare but when he was shirtless and lifting weights while sweating crazily made me want to kiss him right then but I knew he would never look twice at me. 

We were just friends, no more no less. We would watch movies and cuddle at night sometimes when nightmares seeped through the cracks in his mind or we’d go to the markets and buy plums and it sounds like a lot but I want so much more.

_With just one breath, I’m locked in  
Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn  
I’m so perplexed_

My hearted ached for him but I knew better. I was slowly falling for him in a dangerous way. “Hey Y/N” Bucky’s voice shaking me out of my deep thoughts. “Hi” I said barely above a whisper. 

“Want to train?” He offered smiling. He was in a good mood which was rare so I decided to put my feels aside and strap on the gear to my hands. “You don’t seem happy today” He said almost like a question. “I’m feeling fine” I retaliated. He sighed. 

Every punch I landed made me angrier and Bucky started to catch on. “He suddenly stopped and grabbed my wrists. I loved the feeling of his skin on mine and started to calm down but remember why I got so angry. Why didn’t he love me? Why can’t he love me the way I love him?

_On that, it’s almost shocking  
I know, I know you know you’re scared  
Your heart, your mind, your soul, your body_

"Enough, what’s wrong?” Bucky asked slightly annoyed which started to piss me off. I really wanted him and it hurt. He gave me a look that made my heart melt but it was also gut wrenchingly all consuming sense of pain and loss that really made me want to scream and rage. 

_They won’t, they won’t, they won’t be careful  
But I guess that you don’t know me_

_‘Cause if I want you, and I want you, babe  
Ain’t going backwards, won’t ask for space _

  
“Leave me alone” I huffed and started taking off the gear. “What’s up with you lately?” Bucky questioned again. “Will you shut up Bucky?!” I yelled. He walked right up to me and I raised my now bare hands and told him to back off. “I swear Y/N you are always really annoying” Bucky muttered. 

“Excuse me?” I said in an accusing tone. “Yeah that’s right you are always so annoying to deal with and when I try to help you always push me away!” He yelled back. “Yeah well that because you are nothing like me” I yelled back and part of me regretted it knowing that it would hurt him. He only got more enraged and he started to walk closer to me. 

“Nothing like you? Nothing like you?!! Y/N that’s right because you are the worst person ever and I’d rather go through nightmares every night than ever be your friend!” He screamed and I felt my heart shattering. “Well you are a monster! You kill people and I can never be friends with someone who does that! I hate you!” I screamed and ran out. 

I heard a raging “I hate you more!” from behind me just as the door shut. I ran to my room, locked it behind me and cried myself to sleep while ignoring all the knocking or pounding at my door. 

_Cause space is just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get too Close, oh  
Oh, so close, oh  
I want you close, ooh  
'Cause space is just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get close, oh_

———-

The next morning I woke up around 6 and got up and started to head to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. I strolled through heading to my destination. “Fury” I said to his back. 

“Y/N” He acknowledged me. “What can I do for you?” He asked, handing over a board to another employee. “I want a mission. Anything. I want it now” I demanded. “Alright” He replied. I smiled and followed him to the briefing room. 

After the briefing, I was handed my clothing, weapons and guided to a truck that was transporting me to the awaiting airplane.

———-

Bucky awoke from his slumber and headed to the kitchen to grab some coffee. He heard raised voices coming from said kitchen. Bucky pushed open the door to see Natasha, Steve and Fury in a heated conversation. Not knowing what was going on he questioned the trio. 

“Fury here sent Y/N on an extremely dangerous mission” Natasha blurted. Bucky suddenly felt over-protective but disguised it over his anger. “She will be fine” Fury said calmly. “Get out” Natasha said almost monotone. Fury nodded and walked out. Natasha grunted while Steve placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. 

“She’ll be fine” Bucky mumbled while reaching into the cupboard. “No she won’t Bucky she will be outnumbered we have to help” Natasha said worry strained in her voice. “Whatever” Bucky muttered. “No Bucky you don’t understand” Steve replied. 

“I don’t care about Y/N its not my problem she does what she wants” Bucky said with anger. “Bucky she only went on that mission because of you!” Natasha said accusingly. “Nat, that’s enough” Steve said calmly to the distressed friend. “I didn’t make her do anything!” Bucky yelled back at her.

“Yes you did you ripped her heart out and stomped on it” Nat yelled back at him. “What the hell are you talking about?!” Bucky whispered confusingly. “She is practically in love with you Bucky and this morning I caught her crying and all she could say was your name. Bucky you hurt her” Natasha said, defending her best friend.

_Oh man, oh man  
I am not really known for ever being speechless  
But now, but now somehow  
My words roll off my tongue right onto your lips, oh  
I’m keeping cool while you keep smiling  
Saying all the things I’m thinking  
Oh man, oh man  
I am like you so I want proof of what you’re feeling _

  
  
“What? That’s stupid” Bucky replied, shaking off all the positive vibes. She said it herself. He was a monster and she couldn’t be even a friend with him. “No it’s not, Bucky” Nat said, then walking out of the room. The room went quiet and Steve looked at him. “Buck” he started. 

Bucky let his walls down and showed how he really felt. “I didn’t mean to, Steve” Bucky whispered. Steve wrapped his arms around his best friend "Wait until she comes back. I’m sure she can handle herself, she’s strong" Steve spoke, patting his friend on the shoulder before walking out.

_'Cause if I want you, and I want you, babe  
Ain’t going backwards, won’t ask for space  
'Cause space is just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get too_  
  
  
Bucky didn’t listen to his friend. Instead he ran to his room and grabbed his phone. He dialed in your number but much to his surprise it went straight to his voicemail. Adrenaline ran through his veins as he listening to your cherry voice. The voice he knew he loved.

“Leave a message after the beep. Beep! Haha got you!” Bucky loved that part of the message and smiled. “Y/N I love you so much I am so sorry I didn’t mean anything” Bucky said before the beep interrupted his speech. 

Bucky hoped that she would hear the message and forgive him for he did forgive her. Feeling happy that he knew she loved him back he went to bed early for a good night sleep because if he wanted to see her tomorrow he didn’t want to be tired.

———-

_Close, oh  
Oh, so close, oh  
I want you close, oh (yeah baby)  
'Cause space was just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get _

  
  
When Bucky awoke the next day he jumped out of bed and got ready to see Y/N. His heart was racing and he ran out to the lounge area where he saw everyone gathered including Fury. Not a single face dared to look at his. 

“What’s wrong? Where is Y/N? Is she not back yet?” Bucky inquired, buzzing with happiness. “I’m sorry Buck” Steve spoke up, looking at him with teary eyes. Bucky was sure someone had ripped his heart out and tore it to pieces in front of him because It felt like. 

The last thing Bucky expected was to see her body rolled in on a stretcher but there she was, lifeless and pale. His legs shook and his breathing was ragged as he ran over to her. He held her body in his arms and stared at her as if he was waiting for her to pop up and tell him it was a joke for yelling at her but she didn’t.

_close, oh  
Oh, so close, ooh  
I want you close, ooh  
Oh, I want you close, and close ain’t close enough, no_

_'Cause if I want you, and I want you, babe  
Ain’t going backwards, won’t ask for space  
'Cause space was just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get too_

  
Bucky let the tears out and burrowed his face into her neck, mourning her. She still smelled like the tropical island perfume he got for her. She only looked like she was sleeping. He said he hated her and hurt her and she never got to hear him tell her the truth. 

Bucky’s crying was loud and it pierced the hearts of the Avengers around him. He held her tight in his arms. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me! You promised you would stay” He yelled at her even though she couldn’t hear. “You promised me!” Bucky screeched and pulled away, running out of the room. Bucky fell onto his bed and screamed In anger and sadness. 

Bucky was angry, more angry than sad because she had left him. She had left him all alone and he had hurt her. Wiping the tears with his metal arm he reached for the phone and dialed her number. 

As he hoped, it went straight to voicemail and he heard the once lively, beautiful voice of the one he left himself love, the one he stupidly let himself get close to and replayed it over and over until he fell asleep.

_close_


End file.
